it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
