We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
