In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
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My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
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You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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