So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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