Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
