Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
