also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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