So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
