i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
