I didn't shave. On purpose
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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