I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
