Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
