She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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