How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
