I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
