I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize