all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
