This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
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Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.