Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

3.50 mugs at the bar.

(1-512): View more from Texas

Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.

(512): View more from Texas

How ugly, and does she have friends?

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(512): 3.50 mugs at the bar. (1-512): Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice. (512): How ugly, and does she have friends? http://tfl.nu/peow

Replies (40) Good night (557) Bad night (989)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.

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(479): i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for. http://tfl.nu/5iul

Replies (22) Good night (3232) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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(517): View more from Michigan

the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.

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(517): the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one. http://tfl.nu/7m6s

Replies (24) Good night (884) Bad night (7639) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...

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(612): he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it... http://tfl.nu/39p0

Replies (20) Good night (967) Bad night (6703) Order T-Shirt
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(219): View more from Indiana

surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

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(219): surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on http://tfl.nu/a8g3

Replies (9) Good night (3160) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.

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(724): You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room. http://tfl.nu/1sdd

Replies (7) Good night (1027) Bad night (3322) Order T-Shirt
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(775): View more from Nevada

Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls

(702): View more from Nevada

Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter

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(775): Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls (702): Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter http://tfl.nu/jyvi

Replies (9) Good night (4544) Bad night (773)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.

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(517): Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember. http://tfl.nu/2slr

Replies (13) Good night (2458) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.

(513): View more from Ohio

Who are you high with right now?

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(513): chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it. (513): Who are you high with right now? http://tfl.nu/0n4i

Replies (11) Good night (1934) Bad night (511)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.

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(484): she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/xcqc

Replies (4) Good night (1718) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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(252): View more from North Carolina

He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.

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(252): He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line. http://tfl.nu/pkvq

Replies (6) Good night (490) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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(904): View more from Florida

You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.

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(904): You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish. http://tfl.nu/q7o6

Replies (4) Good night (1737) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...

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(250): We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID... http://tfl.nu/i2zd

Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (253) Order T-Shirt
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(302): View more from Delaware

But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you

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(302): But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you http://tfl.nu/t5np

Replies (12) Good night (1423) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

Moonshine marathon is never a good idea

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(757): Moonshine marathon is never a good idea http://tfl.nu/1b2l

Replies (6) Good night (368) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt

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