nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.