I chose taco bell over sex...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
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My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
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My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?