is wine microwaveable?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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