I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize