whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
