There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
