thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize