Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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