My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
worst night to have a conscience
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
