what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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