He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize