I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Girls should come with a carfax report
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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