dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
