Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
3pm strippers are depressing
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
