Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
