But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
