omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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