i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
