The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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