There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
