I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
