I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so let's talk penis.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
