This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.