put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH