There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now