whats a polygalesbian?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.