i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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