Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
