She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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