All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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