If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dicks are not precious.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
