never play flip cup with pint glasses
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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