Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
