If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
