i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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