tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
