Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
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I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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