so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
