I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
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After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
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I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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