y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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